Plan in Motion
by msathenaxf
Summary: An experiment in 2nd person. Rachel's POV. Spoilers are minor, but it goes up to Hairography.


**Title:** Plan in Motion

**Author:** msathenaxf

**Summary:** An experiment in 2nd person. Rachel's POV.

First, let me say a HUGE thanks to all of you who have reviewed, favorited, and set up alerts for my last story. I really, really appreciate it. This is out of the norm for me, as I've never written in 2nd person before. I hope it works.

**A Plan in Motion**

You're a list maker, a planner. At the top of your college-ruled paper, you write your goal and underneath you write every single step it will take to get there. "Become Broadway Star" means you have to:

Get rid of creepy glee coach

Get all the lead songs from now on

Win Sectionals

Win Regionals

It is a simple list, for now. But in your head you have all the little pieces of each step planned out too. Because you are a planner and you are always prepared.

So, when you find yourself falling for the quarterback, with his goofy smile, dim brain, and big heart, you do the research. Which, of course, consists of watching musicals and dramas to see what is likely to come next. After a few viewings, you feel pretty confident that Finn will see you for the perfect match that you are. He will dump his mean, beautiful, cheerleader girlfriend and come running to you.

You ignore that your study materials consist of fictional stories and actors. Until you find out that the cheerleader girlfriend is pregnant. It is a hard dose of reality you had not encountered while watching your movies. You go home and stare at your computer before you start typing search words into Google. You feel guilty, but you have to know what your options are—what her options are.

Abortion law, Ohio.

Adoption agencies, Ohio.

Percentage of teenage miscarriages.

You do this, despite it not being your business, despite the guilt, because you _have to know._ You have always been this way.

Your research tells you that Finn will not be leaving Quinn anytime soon. So you do what you do best, which is make new plans. You try to befriend her, and you try to protect him. That's the new heading at the top of your page, and there are a lot of steps to this plan. Because it will not be easy.

Slowly, they begin to drift apart. But you drift, too. You drift to the boy that is always on the periphery, just like you are. You aren't sure how it came about or why, but you take it. Because he is extremely attractive, even if he has always tortured you. He has a great voice, even if he hardly uses it. And he is a good substitute for the quarterback, but you aren't so delusional that you can't tell that you are nothing but a fill-in for the cheerleader.

Of course, it doesn't work out. You knew it wouldn't, for a plethora of reasons. You end it; you try to be his friend. Which doesn't work out, either, but he doesn't throw slushies at you anymore. And while you look at Finn, you watch Puck out of the corner of your eye. You watch him look at everyone, but concentrate on Quinn out of the corner of _his_ eye. And Finn watches Quinn, but you know he notices you, and Quinn is focused on herself, which you can't blame her for, considering the circumstances.

Things move on, if not forward, and soon glee nearly implodes when the paternity of Quinn's baby is revealed. Finn dumps his mean, beautiful, cheerleader girlfriend and comes running to you. You think it is a hollow victory because he is only there because he is hurt and angry. And you push him away, because of all your lists and plans, there is one that is more important than all of them.

It is a recent list--made after yet another supposed friend set you up to look like a fool--and the steps are different than others you've made. Because instead of things-to-do, it is compiled of things-not-to-do. And one of them is do not date a boy that isn't ready for you. Sub-steps are more specific: Do not date Finn. Do not date Puck. Obviously, you would never write any of this down, but you have this plan memorized and you add to it more everyday.

You would like to come up with a better title for it, but you figure that, for now, simplicity is what you need. So everyday, you implement more and more of Plan Protect Yourself. And everyday you find yourself gaining a confidence you never knew you lacked.

Because what you had always thought was confidence was nothing but determination. It was determination that kept you from crying during slushie attacks, and determination that kept you acting the way you did despite the name-calling it brought on. You feel something dangling just out of reach, but you know you'll get it someday, once the confidence and determination have merged.

Subconsciously, you have named it the Real Rachel Berry.


End file.
